Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Some comments on male victims as seen on reddit

I am not offering links or usernames so people do not get harassed. Simply to say, this is how it looks like:

This conversation happened on r/2x. That thread had many deleted posts:

Person 1
I said "sexually assaulted", not raped. A girl came into my room, when I was sleeping and took my penis out of my pants and began playing with it without my consent. I'm not sure what you'd call that but it definitely was a violation.

Person 2
I guess... but were you really traumatized by it? The herp sucks, and you should be allowed to go into beast mode for that bullshit. But without that... was it really that bad? I don't think it's fair to try and equate what happened to you with anything a woman goes through in a similar situation.

Person 1
Yes it really was that bad. It happened years ago and I still get mad about it. I was stalked by two different women in my youth and combined with that experience I had a very hard time allowing women to get close to me and the relationships I did get in were with women who showed almost no interest in me because I was terrified of women who showed too much interest. So, yeah, Um.. fuck you.

Person 2

Sorry bro, I'm just heavily entrenched in the 'suck it up' camp. We all got problems.

Person 1
Unfortunately, the "suck it up" attitude is why I didn't bother going to therapy for a long time. I've had bad and unhealthy relationships with women and a lot of the patterns I fell into were from deep mistrust of anyone who expressed a liking or what I felt like was too much of a liking towards me. I've broken up with women that were genuinely good people because they seemed "too into me" and I couldn't handle it. Being stalked and sexually assaulted will do that "bro".

To minimize rape or sexual assault just because the victim isn't a female is a shitty thing to do. It leaves its marks on you no matter what. One of my best friends (male) was raped by an older woman as a boy and he's never been able to have a stable relationship his whole life.

So, take your "suck it up" attitude and shove it. I've had enough loss and pain in my life and sucking it up hasn't helped. It almost always leaves you limping and broken.

EDIT: I don't mean to come across so angry, but nothing will piss a person off more than saying "it wasn't a big deal". I have MAJOR trust issues with women due to things that happened to me when I was young and it's resulted in me getting into unhealthy relationships. Yeah, of course there are victims of rape and sexual assault who have had it much worse, but I take umbrage with the fact that because I'm a man I should just "suck it up". That does not work in the long run at all.

Person 2 (answering to another comment)
It's a big dude whose dick got taken out when he was passed out, and the girl kissed his mouth. Big deal. Now, the cold sore is some bullshit, and that should be dealt with severely, but for the rest, suck it up, cowboy.

In a thread about rape on r/askfeminists by a SRS poster:
How long will society ignore the plight of men who have their unwilling penii surrounded by hostile vaginas? It's a national disgrace!


Like what would I do to keep from being raped by a woman? hmm... I'm going to definitely start checking my drinks for "date rape" drugs. Because women might try to dose me in order to take advantage and wrap their vaginas around my unwilling penis.

Also: my first instinct was that I should not wear expensive shoes when I'm around certain women. I know that women really like a guy who has nice taste in shoes, and often say that they get so "turned on" that they can't help themselves... but, you know what? I'LL WEAR WHATEVER SHOES I WANT. Why should I have my footware determined by the base instincts of women who rape men?

Reaction to posting the CDC study on r/2X:

Actual estimates for the proportion of rapists who are male varies from "over 99%" to 93% (when statutory rapes are included - as they should be). [...] In order to be honest, we need to fairly represent the complete picture, not just cherry pick ONE special part of the statistic and parade it around as the whole truth. You and I know that the statistics do NOT say 40% of all rapists are women. Stop lying. [...] men and women can stop rape - is also a lie.

Same thread different poster:

Woman on male rape is amazingly rare. Stop being a whiny bitch


I mean I'm on 2XC to learn about things I'm blinded to to my male privilege. Part of that privilege is that i have no idea how a woman could rape me, so i would like to learn.

From where i'm sitting its pretty close to not possible, and while I've been sexually assaulted a couple of times, I have absolutely no idea how a woman would go about raping me.


If someone could enlighten me, maybe i wouldn't think it was all a bunch of forever aloners making shit up cause they feel victimized by women. So i ask you, how exactly does a woman rape a man?

One example seen in r/srsdiscussion, a pretty nice place as it seems:

My boyfriend and I are both rape victims. I know and used to be best friends with his rapist. He can't press charges against her because he is 3 years older than her (Age of consent, she was 14, he had just turned 17) and our home state won't allow men to file charges against women for rape.

It breaks my heart to see how much victim blaming he gets if he ever brings it up to people, even other rape victims. I've been siting with him in a public setting and he mentioned it offhandedly and a woman we didn't know came up and threw a drink in his face while yelling "You sexist fucking pig. You can't be raped, you're a fucking man". She didn't even know it was female/male rape. She just assumed a guy must like it if there's a dick involved.

There were quite a few examples I read recently, but will probably add to this in the future.

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